Need A Little Love Potion #9?

The other morning, at 6:30 to be exact, I had a doctor’s appointment.  I love my Doc, Dr. N, she is always engaging, genuinely curious about things in your life, and has an amazing memory.  Anyway, as I am done with my exam and leaving I notice a book on the counter “Not Guilty By Reason of Menopause” so I asked her about it (since my first thought was she had put it there for my benefit). However, she said she picked it up a few years ago quite by accident and it was very funny (clearly she hasn’t experienced menopause) and made a good waiting room book. Now that I think of  it where was the funny book about “Low T”? It is a primary care office after all.

 

Anyway I brought up the blog and that I was going to mention that she found humor in  “it” (which I secretly found humor in knowing that one day she will look back on this and hopefully will still find it funny).  She asked about 4 Broads Dish and I told her we were going to talk about everything our Mom’s never told us, like – post menopausal vaginal atrophy, on queue her jaw dropped (and I am sure there are several of you picking yours up now as a well). I went on “I mean how would I know I even have it, since I don’t have sex much anymore and my mom never mentioned this”. As she picked her chin up off the floor a second time she says “well it’s interesting that you say that.  You know how they have awareness bracelets for life threatening illnesses? Well a drug rep came in with bracelets for vaginal dryness!” Now who was picking her chin up off the floor..? I knew immediately what drug she was referring too, because I have a friend who took it. She said “your blog is really a better way to get it out there than wearing pink (yep they made them pink) bracelets”.

I left SMH, and I wondered a few things.  Did they make it pink because it brings your vagina back to its former youthful, perfectly moisturized self?  I mean, it’s known it feels like the Sahara before the drug, but does it look like it too? I also wondered if handed out, would menopausal women actually wear these? And if people asked them about it would they begin to tell anybody willing to listen about their struggles with inadequate vaginal moisture, lack of libido and how a new drug has taken them from dry and drab to flooded and fab and how they are banging again like a 35 year old again? I mean would you wear a charm bracelet with little packets of K-Y jelly on it..?  While it is important to talk about it, and while women do suffer in silence thinking it’s just them, exploiting women suffering from this is another problem.  I guess what I really find issue with here, is the free advertising that the drug company was expecting us to do for them in the guise of an “awareness” campaign.  From what I have been told if you have it you are very aware of it and don’t need a bracelet to remind you.

Thank goodness there is help. Yes, in this Rx form (ospemifene), over the counter form (K-Y), and bio identical hormone forms (this is what Suzanne Somers has been hawking in her books but check Mary’s Blog and she’ll tell you the name for free).  But here’s the part none of them will tell you. All of these will certainly restore the flora and fauna to your lady pond, and turn back time on that libido so you might not know if its day or night, you might even start kissing everything in sight.  BUT they all fail to adequately warn you that — you might not be able to bend your knees like you used too, or that hip won’t allow you to throw those legs back behind you head like you used too. You can’t haul your ass on to the dining room table for that quickie because the shoulder won’t let you. Or worse, libido roars in, flood gates open and your back goes out..  And swinging from the chandelier? Well that could be hazardous to your health. They don’t post those warnings on your little bottle of Love Potion #9…but knowledge is power.. and we all know the power of the V!